The Doubt Monster
—The Doubt Monster—
Once again, the Doubt Monster is creeping closer, casting like a dark cloud his negativity claws over my broad, gym-addled shoulders. He’s awake. Tired, but awake.
The Doubt Monster feeds on negativity; he (I’ll refer to it as a ‘he’) loves it—thrives on it. He’ll suck you dry of all positive energy; he’ll squash your passion; transform your most daring of dreams into the gloomiest of nightmares. To fight him, you need positivity. You need those elusive good vibes. You need grit.
I’m an optimist by nature, so this tends to happen rather easily. But in the thick, muddy, and ever so sharp thorns of querying, I’ve found it to be quite difficult. Rejections get old. Rejection after rejection gets exhausting. Much to my chagrin, I’ve been on a bit of a rejection streak lately. I can’t seem to shake it. I’ve continued my agent research, my tailored query letters. To no avail.
It’s dreadfully difficult to maintain such a cheery disposition in the face of endless rejection, but I’ve learned that I need a distraction, something to take my mind off all the negativity. I don’t stop my current endeavor; I just begin something new. I convert the negative energy into the positive.
As of late, this has taken the form of a few new novel ideas—apart from the Junk Disko Universe. I’ve been sitting on these for a couple years; it wasn’t until and my first full manuscript request for NIGHTLIGHTER was rejected that I finally pulled the trigger and got started. All three are interesting and have certain momentum, but one has taken the lead. It’s a bit lighter than NIGHTLIGHTER, but it’s tense, and grounded in a reality a little closer to home. Think Bioshock meets Shawshank Redemption.
Writing is one of the things that brings me great joy; it can also breed sadness. Still, I’m glad to, somewhat paradoxically, use it as a cathartic salve during these dark valleys in the query journey.
That’s all for now.
-Taylor
TJH -- 02.05.2024